Fifth in my 2021 summer compilation series is a three-way mash-up of grief, rejection and resilience. Read on for four inspiring images, two poems, three quotes plus links to one essay and one memorable rejection video. (And of course can’t type anything on this topic without including a link to my all-time fave poem: “What to do in the Darkness.”) Quick reference guide here:
People tend to believe that grief shrinks over time. What really happens is that we grow around grief.
Mike Kaeding’s “Redirecting Rejection” essay was short and sweet.
Jia Jiang’s TED video: What I learned from 100 days of rejection
% of worst days you've made it thru = 100%
Doing your best might look different each day.
Don’t let a bad day distract you from all the progress you’ve made.
When you have come to the edge of all the light you know
During the winters of our lives, we shed our facades and reveal all the intricacies of the unique beings we are.
The purpose of life is not to fight against evil and misfortune; it is to unveil magnificence.
In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.
#1 Grief
As some of you know, I started working closely with Amy Elizabeth Fox at Mobius Executive Leadership in March, and she shared a link to a gorgeous image dispelling the myth that grief shrinks over time… rather “we grow around grief.” Rather than write more about it, I’ll let this image speak for itself.
PS": If you know someone grieving (well, someone for whom grief has taken over their jar at the moment), I unabashedly and with full bias, refer you to my mom, who has an amazing practice in that domain.
via “Redirecting Rejection” by Mike Kaeding
#2 Rejection Essay
Loved this essay by Mike Kaeding.
#3 Rejection Video
According to the TED blurb, you can watch (as more than 3M have done so far) as:
Jia Jiang adventures boldly into a territory so many of us fear: rejection. By seeking out rejection for 100 days -- from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a "burger refill" at a restaurant -- Jiang desensitized himself to the pain and shame that rejection often brings and, in the process, discovered that simply asking for what you want can open up possibilities where you expect to find dead ends.
Personally, I love Jason Comely’s “Rejection Therapy Game” (go out and look for rejection for 30 days in a row) and my two favorite moments came when Jiang said that in his first attempt he found a microcosm of life: “Every time I feel the slightest rejection, I would just run as fast as I could.” And then his infectious enthusiasm and wonder as he discovers doubt, trust, and joy in the wake of rejection. Totally inspiring.
#4-6 - Wisdom via @LIZANDMOLLIE
Sorry, I couldn’t pick just one!
#7
“When you have come to the edge
Of all the light you know,
Into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing that
One of two things will happen.
There will be something solid to stand on,
Or you will be taught how to fly.”
#8
Such a glorious description of how we both reveal ourselves and really connect during “the winters of our lives.”
[Ed note: And every single time I see a cardinal, I remember my Grandmother Suesse, who LOVED cardinals. Sometimes it feels like she just flew in to say hi.]
“With the falling of the leaves, the mask of green are stripped off the hillsides, revealing the diversity and uniqueness of each ridge and valley, rock and stream, old shed or oil well hitherto unseen. It is in the winter, when the hills bare their innermost selves, that we get to know them. Then, in the spring, when the masks return, we can look at the hills as old friends few others understand.
So it is with people. Most of the time we wear our masks. But during the difficult times, during the winters of our lives, we shed our facades and reveal all the intricacies of the unique beings we are. It is in those moments that friendships are formed, and we experience one another as few others ever will.”
#9
“The purpose of life is not to fight against evil and misfortune; it is to unveil magnificence.”
#10
“In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.”