I loved Nicki’s most recent post, and thus wanted to share it around.
For any readers who don’t already know my friend, mentor and colleague Nicki Roth, I highly recommend her blog and books. Nicki has been a calm, steadfast voice in my development as a coach for over a decade. Prior to her coaching and consulting work, Nicki spent nearly twenty years working as a psychotherapist, specializing in family systems and incest victims. Thus, she has deep wisdom and expertise in what makes people tick and how our environments influence our behaviors. Plus, she’s a great cook and has an excellent sense of humor :)
In her post, titled “The Year We All Went Crazy,” Nicki shares her thoughts on how to make sense of the insanity of humanity during this year of isolation and loss. I recommend you read it in its entirety, but here are a few favorite excerpts:
Of course, a pandemic will do unusual things to all of us. Stress, anxiety, confusion, anger, sadness. All to the extreme. The end results are groups turning against other groups, individuals lashing out at other individuals, political parties retreating to their corners and ending civil dialogue, countries going it alone, the breakdown of connectedness.
When living beings experience threat and danger, they can either fight or flee. This is on full display in the US. The activities in the public square, the peaceful and violent ones, are about fight. Fight the injustices, fight the long and painful discrimination, fight the system. Fight the encroaching “others”, fight the progressive cultural trends, fight the shifting sands. One camp wants to face the truth of the past to create a different future. The other wants to create a future that looks like the past. Both groups fear extinction and are fighting for their survival.
Those that are in flight mode are hidden from view. You won’t see them in the streets or in any public forum. They are hunkered down in their homes struggling with the same fears about how to survive. Depression, suicidal thoughts, addictions, deteriorating mental health have put these people on the edge of extinction as well. Each day challenges their inner resolve to make it to the next day.
Sadly, winning the fight will not bring calm or reestablish good mental health.
Fight begets more fight begets more fight.
To resolve the emotional crisis, we need to stop looking outside ourselves and turn inward.
So, the sane response would be to take personal responsibility to get right.
Stop going down kooky rabbit holes that don’t pass the commonsense sniff test.
Stop screaming at people.
Get a grip on your anger.
Find healthier energy sources.
Get medications if the darkness is pervasive and persistent.
Stop threatening or inflicting violence on others.
Come back to reality by focusing on factual information, science and moderation.
Stop trying to assert power over others and start sharing again.
Learn methods for calming yourself.
Stop seeing everything in absolutes and extremes.
Remember that living is all about nuance and kindness and generosity.
Find ways to reconnect in caring, humane ways.
We must stop being crazy.
We must remember that we are all just human beings.
We are made of the same stuff and want the same things.
We want to love ourselves, be loved by others and feel a sense of community and connection.
We each need to rediscover our own humanity and recognize the same in others.
That’s the only way back to sanity.